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Dating nowadays. NIKIA's blog.

Most of our free time we spend in the Internet. Online dating is becoming more and more popular. People hoping to find a partner, a lover, a friend . We leave hometowns, and perhaps the country to meet new friend. We place our profiles in FB and Instagram, etc, colorfully tell about us, trying to present us in the most favorable light. I think it's not bad. We want to look more successful, earn more "followers" and "likes". Relationship occur between people of common interest + who want to find love. Also on dating sites people can show their true colors openly and anonimously, and find partners who accept and respect someone else's personal inner world.  

About a year I was a member of one of these sites. My goal was a pleasant chat. I understand that anonymity helps men to fully feel liberated, without fear of ridicule and condemnation. Honestly, I did not respond to men with strange and too explicit messages. ;) My goal was to communicate, and perhaps love!

Of course I do not blame men for "dirty mind" to explore. It's free territory for anythng to talk about.
Everyone is looking for her, and I was looking for, too.
Blind dates? It was only three in my real life. It was more friendly than romantic. Excellent meet at the caffees and ate and talk.   In short: I was not become a victim of the maniac. On the contrary ... the friendly familiarity which did not develop into something more.
Well, now I'm single and still looking for love. I'm interested to hear from you, dear friends, do you have ever spend your time on similar sites. Tell me about your interesting dates. Perhaps they were funny or turned into something more. I'll wait for your stories.
my kisses,


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Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don’t need to know about men. It’s the men who have to know about beautiful women.
– Katharine Hepburn

As a beautiful woman yourself Nikia, I can't resist asking if you agree with Katherine Hepburn? :)

More on Katharine Hepburn here:

P.S. It is always a pleasure to read your blog!

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Mostly beautiful women do skillfully manage men, it means that we know how to do it, no less.

And if Katharine Hepburn was right, it means that I'm not a beautiful woman ;)

Thank you

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Hello Nikia. The new year is here now. I hope your holidays have been wonderful. I was reading your original post here and thinking to myself that perhaps you are no longer single and so this topic is not of as much relevance to you. I also have thoughts that I ruined this blog with my stories and now you don't want to post on a blog because of responses like mine. I must say that I was looking forward to more dialogue with you and more between your other fans and yourself also. It's great to get your feedback and insights on things. If you have entered into a relationship with someone new, though, I can understand why you would not have the time or desire to be on here responding to us. I wish you a great 2016 and beyond, Nikia. You are highly admirable and I thank you for all you have shared with us.

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Happy New Year to you and to all of members here!
I wish you to fill your houses with love and happiness for all the Year.

As for my relationships: now I am building my career and working very hard, so I can not plan a lot of time for searching, I'm happy, though not yet in a relationship with someone I love. This year I probably meet my love, why not?


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I PROMISE THAT Nikia will answer in a week, Happy New Year!

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My apologies if I've been too exuberant in telling my stories, Nikia. What is of most interest is what YOU have to share and I hope we can discuss more about what can possibly transpire from online dating and other social media sites. I don't understand why men approach women online with a lot of sexual talk. Do they really think that is going to go anywhere? Anonymity does not provide a good excuse. There are appropriate times and places for such discussion, but certainly not when you are just meeting someone.I have to chuckle when I think of what you might say to a guy who requests a nude picture of you. Why do guys do that? Like they think the woman is really going to send one. I wonder what you think, Nikia. Hope to hear from you. ~ Bruce

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I've received a couple of thumbs ups. Thank you for your support. I'd like to encourage more sharing of stories, though. I think this is an interesting topic. Nikia, I hope my answer wasn't too much to give you to react to. International online dating brings certain challenges that local online dating does not. I've encountered several fraudulent attempts, and interestingly, one of them was from a Russian girl living in California. She used a model's photographs to set up a dating profile on a very reputable international dating site. After a few weeks, I wanted to fly to California to meet her - you have to make sure everything is legitimate by meeting face-to-face - and she would come up with reasons why she couldn't. This made me wary and I started to snoop. I discovered some other photos of her real self on a site where she advertised services to tutor American students learning the Russian language. I confronted her with this and, to her surprise, I continued our friendship and actually did what I could to help her get a green card. My looks reminded her of Bruce Willis and I was helping her out like an angel,so I developed an identity as "Bruce Angel". I've since let "Bruce" loose as I've determined to live the difference between being kindhearted and being someone's fool. I like helping people, but it becomes demeaning when I allow my generosity to be taken advantage of. The girl I helped...never did get her green card.

So, yes, international online dating can be an adventure, often with unpleasant outcomes. Nikia, do you think this is true also of local online dating? My own experience has been mostly disappointing. It seems that no matter how much chemistry you seem to have with someone online, you can't really know what is there unless you meet. What hurts is when you do develop a chemistry online and then you meet that other person and find that person to be very different than who you thought you knew online. I fell in love with a woman who lived about 60 miles away. We communicated for six months over a dating service and via phone calls. When I finally met her - she was a tree! Within 10 seconds of meeting face-to-face I think we both knew the attraction was not there. We talked for three hours and then shook hands and parted. I must say I wandered around in shock for a bit after that too. How could the face-to-face experience be so different? Have you experienced the same?

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Dating, chat conversations ... all this gives people an illusion. Women get the illusion of demand, and the men the illusion of infinite choice. I understand that it is difficult to realize the illusion, dreams and fantasies. This is a dream ... and almost impossible to make a dream come true.
In your case it is particularly difficult, you are so far from each other. None of the two of you did not know the true nature of the other, compatibility, which are so important for the future together. The only way to build deeper relationships - need to live close to each other. For a woman it's very important that her man is near. Feel the love and not to be alone. Love and caring as real and not virtually. I have no doubt that she is a remarkable woman! I see you are a wonderful and caring man. Dear Bruce, your helping to someone in family is fine. Family is the most important, but do not forget about yourself.
I'm sorry that your communication so unpleasant end. . I would advise you not to go to her page on Facebook. Once you allow yourself to leave the problems and suffering in the past, all must be adjusted better soon. Memories are preventing you go any further, just let it go. Why think about a person who did not appreciate you as you are? Live in the present, love yourself first and foremost, to the people. Just do not close your big heart, let it always be open to love. Do not forget that every energy in this world is coming back! If you are set on a positive, welcome every day with a smile and take his life as a great gift, then you simply will not want to spend life in frustration, life will greet you with a smile. I believe in it!

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Nikia, I agree with everything you say. Each moment is a gift and how a person accepts it and what one does with it determines much about one's life. My focus is family, but perhaps I don't do enough for myself. These experiences I've told you about are well in the past now. That why I can visit the Facebook page and be happy to see some of what is going on in the Romanian girl's life. I have fond memories of what happened, not bitter, although I have to admit, it was not in good character for me to mention a link to the music video. There seems to be some spite in doing that, but I was also trying to bring some reality to my story.

Your reply is perfect. You show again that you understand life very well. I'd love to meet someone here where I live, but it seems impossible to find the right person online. After six or seven years of being on online dating sites, I've given up. You'd think it would have happened sometime during those years. It may be harder when you are my age. The options are fewer and everyone who is single at my age has been rejected for one reason or another by someone who was very, very close to them and with them for several or many years (their ex-spouses) and they carry those reasons in who they are. I've seen it with my ex-wife. She's dated several men and they always end up having the same problem with her that I did. Some people do grow and change enough to overcome these issues, but often the divorcee that you meet still has the same issues that were part of why prior relationships failed. In short, most of the people at my age who can sustain relationships are in relationships that are being sustained.

I'm happy, though. Happier being single than trying to carry on a relationship that isn't working. My ex and I made our marriage work as best we could and we raised two daughters in a mostly happy existence. But we were miserable in the end, because we were so incompatible. It was best that we parted.

So, Nikia, what are you finding in Russia among your age group that is making it difficult for you to find the love you seek?

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Hi Bruce!

Sure, I see that you have experience, but I just starting to learn myself.

Among my age group sometimes we had lost communication, we hardly can start to talk face to face, it's easier to be under a mask in Internet, and it happens not only in small village, but in cities as well. Also we think that we need more choices - we see millions online and we think we can find our best friend just by choosing from profiles and avatars. Sometimes we didn't see our love is near, it was many times described in classic and modern movies.

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I agree with you. Wherever you go, most women of my age (18-25 years lets say) are just on their phones. Looking at facebook, listening music, watching videos alone. They dont want to be disturbed by some random guy, who wants to talk with you, they think its weird. Only at my university I know some women but most of them already have a boyfriend but then Im asking myself where can i find one? How can I start a serious relationship? Many of my friends starting one via facebook or drunk partys. Im not like that. Altough Ive done that a few times in the past but it didnt really work out. And I dont know, I feel Im too young for online dating, I feel like there has to be another way to find that woman to love. But I just dont know how or where to start searching. But who know in the past Ill find her. :)